Hollywood gives us an unrealistic standard of what jobs and careers are suppose to be like.
I was honestly told this is what it's like in the career
field of graphic design... you vomit your own money
Think about it. Any number of movies in our lifetime have been about the coolest ways to make money whether it's getting into the cool place to work, suddenly finding yourself in need of money and conning your way in, or having that job and everyone looking up to you more than the asshole boss. No matter which way you cut it, movie jobs rule. Real world jobs... suck ass. Of course, the whole idea behind a great movie/book/blog is that it suppose to show you one great moment in the life of a person, so I can understand that perhaps these jobs don't really rule, they just rule rule for 2 hours... But I can also tell the difference between real life and fantasy... now. But for years, I couldn't and I'm still fighting my way back to reality for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week.
In middle school, there was a movie that made me want to get a job so much, I couldn't stand the thought of wasting anymore time now working. The people were cool, the manager was a total bad ass, the customers were in and out without any problems, you could steal the entire night's deposit to go blow on gambling (with the best intentions), when a celebrity comes in you can trash him, chase down a shoplifter, and at the end of the day... dance on the roof after a killer party. I'm speaking, of course, about Empire Records.
It's a good thing Liv Tyler is holding them back
'cause they'll fuck you up with their early-90s
indifference to society and the "Man"
That record store was awesome! You committed a federal offense and ruined a completely perfect plan to buyout the store from corporate takeover? You get to sit on a couch all day! You shoplift from the store, carted off by the police and return later to commit a federal offense? (...I'm seeing a trend now) You get a job! You're totally in love with some girl, and you're a talented artist who's heading off to college? Even though she threw herself at a total douche, everything turns out fine!!! Why wouldn't you want to work there? Why can't every job be like that!?!
Because pesky rules and laws and a little thing called "responsibility" get the way. That and prostitution is illegal.
I worked at a toy store on and off for 9 years and it was honestly the closest thing I had to Empire Records (the store. The closest thing I had to the movie for a long time was the soundtrack... which makes me feel dirty to admit) as a job. We made that place awesome. We did what we had to do (not that much) and then did nothing (well). However none of that stuff above rarely worked out. We had a guy steal money for gambling (not with best intentions) and he did get to sit on a couch all day... He got fired. And that kinda screwed over the other people in the store. Most shoplifters got away... but we didn't care. And at the end of the day, we just left because parties at the store would have sucked hard. My high school and college job was probably better than most. Cashier at Walmart or flippin' burgers at MickeyD's are not even remotely close to Empire Records.
But now, I have a real job... a career... So now Hollywood won't lie to me about that, right!?! I can do this career for now, then the big boss discovers me and I become the head huncho, right? Or I win the lottery? Or I live happily ever after? Or, best of all, like Office Space... I just get to up and leave one day and all is well.
"THANK YOU SIR!! I REALLY APPRECIATE THIS
OPPORTUNITY!! I WILL NOT LET YOU DOWN!!!"
Office Space. What a movie. You hate your career, something snaps in your brain and you just stop caring about all the shit they try to push on you. That movie is what a career is like. The annoying coworkers, the endless days, the same thing over and over and over and over (and over even!) and finally, you make one little mistake, you hear about it endlessly until someone else screws up. TPS report covers are a placeholder for just about anything in any job. The moment the movie takes a turn for the worse is when he just comes in, does whatever he wants, then stops coming, then get promoted. Oh, and that whole Superman 3 idea... Stupid Superman 3. You wouldn't get promoted, you'd get fired. And then no pretty girlfriend and a smile on your face... There would be no unemployment check and a lot of drinking. But the construction ending would probably be true too.
Here's the thing people: Work sucks. If work was fun, eventually fun gets old. Even professional athletes get tired of playing fun games day after day. We just need to get through the work/career age and survive so we can get back to the real fun that we had in our youth: Pooping our pants and making someone else clean it up.
The whole purpose of this article was to use the sentence "Pooping our pants and making someone else clean it up."
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