I'd love to know how they come up with these statistics, because in my humble (and broke-ass) opinion, 100% of the nation is scared shitless. I have yet to meet a single person on the street, in Walmart (where just about everyone is now forced to shop), or at the gas station who doesn't have the look of a shell-shock victim.
Speaking of Walmart...
I was in Walmart over the weekend (cringe) picking up catfood. Now, I try to plan my Walmart excursions as late in the evening as possible (and since I go to the 24 hour Walmart in the ghetto, it's usually 1 in the morning when the cat won't stop effing crying for food, even though he has half a bowl left, what can I say, my cat starts to panic if there isn't 10 lbs in reserve.) So I get to said ghettomart, and it's a mob scene. Even during the holiday rush, when I had to go get catfood (I shop online for gifts because I hate crowds) Walmart wasn't this crowded (most likely because this holiday season was one of the lowest grossing seasons in history.) And just like during regular business hours, there were only 4 out of 38 registers open for check out. What pisses me off is that there were at least 15 (yes, I counted!) associates wandering through the aisles, pretending to be restocking shelves, and instead talking about Rihanna's beat down or playing Nerf football.
Seriously, Nerf football back in the toy section, it was hilarious to watch. One of the associates, we'll call him Brad, would make a great inside linebacker should B-more lose Ray Lewis in negotiation, and it certainly looks like we will.
Now, keep in mind, in these troubled times, stocks are plummeting faster than Paris Hilton's panties, but Walmart is actually up this month. The stock price for my bank is less than $3/share, but Walmart is holding strong right around $50.
AND THEY STILL ONLY OPEN FOUR REGISTERS!
If you're the major retail store that 90% of country is frequenting because they can no longer afford pricier options, open some damn registers to accomodate the traffic. Standing in the 10 items or less line for an HOUR simply prompts me to carry a paintball gun, Denny Crane style, and open fire to release my tension.
Come to think of it...
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I have edited your post for a spelling mistake. You didn't capitalize Nerf.
ReplyDeleteDo not hurt Nerf's feelings like that. Do you really want them to go back to making foam-ball-pump-guns instead of these sweet, nearly-lethal sproingy death machines? I think not.
"Do you really want them to go back to making foam-ball-pump-guns instead of these sweet, nearly-lethal sproingy death machines?"
ReplyDeleteI actually just bought a pump action Nerf shotgun, and it fires foam balls.
Priceless.