Stuff About Today

It's been awhile, and Charlie does it much better, but he gave his permission for me to attempt a Stuff About Today article. So here we go.

-- Today a photo from this past weekend's ACM gives the world a glimpse of Taylor Swift that she surely did not want to show. The photo, taken from what some would refer to as a "lucky angle," has been making its way across the internet and will, very likely be highly spoken about in numerous chat rooms and prepubescent boys dreams.

-- In an early report from "Stuff About Today" for Thursday, April 9, 2009, we have a follow up to the Taylor Swift story: Today millions of boys, country fans, numerous lesbians and creepy old men have been reported to have visited their primary doctor due to "severe ocular strain" caused by using a magnifying glass with their computer monitors. The US Surgeon General, Rear Admiral Steven K. Galson, M.D., M.P.H., has issued a report urging the country of the dangers of magnifying glasses mixed with computer monitors and candid celebrity photos.

-- Lindsay Lohan confirmed her break up with 13 year-old looking DJ Samantha Ronson on Monday. Today, Michael Lohan, Lindsay's father, has stated that he approves of his daughter's decision and hopes that this will end on a positive note. Everyone else in the world has stated that "Who the fuck is Michael Lohan?"

-- In continuing news, the country still reels in the news that Fast & Furious was Number 1 in the Box Office this past weekend. Jesus Christ, America... Seriously? How can you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning knowing that more than likely, you know SOMEONE who went to go see that movie this past weekend.

-- In Spoiler news, last night, Kal Penn's character on House committed suicide. Apparently the Silent Guy from Superman Returns has been asked to do PR for the White House, hence his exit. Obviously, this is a move to secure the College Stoner vote in 2012 because the funny foreign guy that's not the serious foreign guy in that movie really speaks to people. But he was in the last funny movie by National Lampoon, so I'll allow it.

-- Today Apple's iTunes Store began offering music at $ .69, $ .99 and $1.29. All music no longer has the copyright restrictions on them and they can be copied as much as one desires. Today, if you upgrade to iTunes Plus, you will be given the option to upgrade all your previously purchased music for $ .30 a song, or $3.00 an album. AudioSurf players rejoice.

-- GM and Segway make a 2-wheeled, 2-seated "car." It can go up to 35 mph and go for 35 miles on a single charge... 35 mph... 35 mi to a charge... 35... and 35... So you're trying to tell me that life will be easier and more convenient for me if I buy an overpriced "vehicle" that I would have to stop and charge every hour if I wanted to go full speed..? A trip to Orlando from Maryland would take FOREVER!! WTF, man!?! But it is another step closer to those chairs from Wall-E, and that's what's important people.

-- Finally, long-time friends of p0pcult., Matt and Anne are getting married this Friday. Much love to you guys and best of luck!

So that's my Stuff About Today. Hopefully Charlie will take it back soon and make it not suck.