Stuff about... Yesterday! February 21st, 2009

Well, I worked last night, and then I got home only to pass out immediately. Fair warning: There's a pretty decent chance it'll happen again. Don't hurt me.

Here's some stuff about yesterday!

-- Apparently everyone and their mother believe that Heath's winning of the Oscar is inevitable, including his crazy-assed family. That link is to an LA times gossip junkie bitching that his three-year-old daughter won't be getting the statue. Problems with this:

1. She's three. The Oscar almost definitely weighs more than her, in addition to probably being 2/3rds of her height, so she's probably going to think it's a lawn ornament for a few more years at least.

2. If she does manage to figure out what it is, then by the time she's six or so she'll be using it as a dress-up doll. And then when she is finally into her older years, she won't respect the gravitas of winning one of those things, and we'll have another shitty child-of-a-star actress doing low-rent movies or bad sitcoms.

EDIT: This actually was an article from the 19th, and was ABOUT something that happened on the 18th. However, since a good deal of it happened in Australia, for all we know it could have been the 12th of March.


-- I'm not including a link for this one -- evidently Martha Stewart is going to make next Monday's show "all about the world of Pot," which means there'll be about 19 minutes of extremely dated innuendo and non-chiba references to cooking utensils. The last three will be filled by her special guest, Jimmy Fallon, who will (as always) be 100% unfunny.


-- Madea Goes to Jail came out yesterday.

I'm sorry, world. Nobody can stop him.


-- I'm facepalming on ABC news. Anyone here heard of Mountain Dew Mouth? They're doing a report on how the 'Dew rots the hell out of teeth in high schoolers -- specifically the ones in Kentucky. Okay. Do I really have to point out that Mountain Dew is the last thing wrong with the teeth in Kentucky?


-- Barry Bonds caught a break, apparently because his old drug tests are inadmissible as evidence. In his drug-crime/perjury trial. Way to beat the system again, Barry. Good thing I started hating baseball when I was twelve. Baseball is to sports as Monopoly is to board games. Seems like a good idea at first but six hours later SHIT when will this ever END?


Okay, there was a lot of sarcasm on this one because I'm angry about going to work. Let me make it up to you:



Imagine their kids. Go ahead. Do it.


Yes. The puppy and the dolphin are friends. Careful, your eyes will start vomiting starlight and rainbows after looking at it for too long.

Okay! Tune in sometime later for more stuff. We'll all be around.