Fanboy was once a term for the geeky type who holed themselves up in the basement and bitched/worshipped a movie, comic, tv show, etc. But somewhere along the line, being a huge fan of something became socially acceptable. If one wore a Star Wars shirt, you earned yourself a swirlee... You wore a Creed shirt, everyone laughed at you to the point that you actually considered throwing yourself off the highest building you could find (which you still should because that is 100% unacceptable)... If you talked about a video game anywhere, you'd have to try to explain that its improving your hand-eye coordination...
blah blah blindness blah blah blah not in my bed..."
I present to you the worst of the worst things Pop Culture has given us.
Hot Topic
Oh. My. God. I cannot tell you how much I HATE Hot Topic. Once upon a time, I planned to have a different graphic shirt for each day of the week, so Hot Topic was the place to go... Until I realized that I don't have $25 FOR A FUCKING SHIRT EVER!!!
Beyond that, I hate HT for the fact that the best things in pop culture are brought here to die. Anything that was once slightly popular, Hot Topic will carry every piece of merchandise that is related to that subject. Things that makes sense, like the logo on a sticker or, if applicable, the action figure, or even a shirt with the main character on it. But when you get to the point that they have an shitty mix of Ed Hardy-esque shirts mixed with anything with the movie, or socks with holes in colors or a picture of Jimmy Carter flipping off a donkey in space and a dildo shaped boot with Robert Patrick's face on it... And that's a wrist band!
Prime Example: Look at what it did to Boondock Saints. Before only a select few saw this great movie... Then every goth/athetist had a shirt with a prayer on it and every frat guy had a flask with the "logo" on it.
Me Too! Cars
Once upon a time, if you had a Mustang, Camaro, GTO or any other muscle car, that meant one thing only...
You got the puss.
But somewhere along the lines, these fine pieces of American "Fuck the Roads" craftmenship was replaced with "Hey Dad, buy me that!" foreign piddly shit that has been "tricked out." Of course, the High Holy One of these rodents of the road is the Honda Civic.
Often called the ridiculously racist "Rice Burner" due to it's Asian decent, the "Me too!" car gets it's name from this far-too-common conversation:
Any Jock You Remember From High School: Hey man... What you got?
Some Dude With 14 Popped-Collared American Eagle Polo Shirts: A Red 2008 Honda Civic
Any Jock You Remember From High School: ME TOO!!
And thus a friendship is born based on what Mommy and Daddy bought you so they could keep you out of the house and on the roads, endangering others.
It's bad enough we have to deal with these assholes on any popular stretch of road in any city, town, village, or backwater hoboville... but then Hollywood shoved Gone In 60 Seconds and The Fast and the Furious in our faces.
The only way that movie lives up to it's name is that I click over the station playing it (TBS, BET, etc...) really FAST and if someone says that they were good movies, I get FURIOUS and tear their brainless heads off their popped-collared bodies.
Prime Example: Go to any road refered to as the "Golden Mile" on any night of the week. See if you don't immediately regret that decision. And also try to figure out where they got the money to drive all night in a recession...
Cos Play
The "art" of dressing up like your favorite character from any media.
I understand being a fanboy... I have 7 lightsabers that I have mounted on the wall and I only take them down for 2 reasons:
1) To poke the cats while they are sleeping
2) To use during Halloween
I also have a pretty good Jedi costume that stays in my closet and I only take it out for 2 reasons:
1) Halloween, a Halloween party or the rare costume party not in October
2) NEVER BECAUSE IT'S A FUCKING HALLOWEEN COSTUME.
But there are people in this world who feel that they need to go to the mall in costumes (What!?!) or to a Comic Convention in scostume (Okay, a little bit more understandable) or just go to their buddies home (again... What!?!) or to dress up for the release of their favorite movie/video game/book...
This is unacceptable. You know why people laughed at the movie Role Models? Little kids shouting expletives and racist remarks is funny, and McLovin acting like a complete tool in his castle land outfit/mindset. Oh, and KISS...
So, attention girls in skimpy outfit and wings: Stop it...
Prime Example: I have gone to one comic convention, and there I saw a guy dressed up like Heath Ledger's joker (this was before The Dark Knight came out) and he was carrying a double-bladed Darth Maul Force FX lightsaber. Tell me where the connection is and I will gladly praise this man for his ingenius.
Topical Halloween Costumes
So I work for a newspaper. And in such newspaper, we ran an article last week about Top Halloween costumes for this year. Some of the costumes listed were a Sarah Palin mask and Kate Gosselin wig.
Sarah Palin mask unavailable at deadline.
And it's not just this year. Last year was McCain and Obama. For the previous 8 years before that was George W. Bush. 8 years before that, the Clintons. Before that, OJ.
If you buy one of these costumes, you should just stop the payment method right now and send all your money to me.
Prime Example: So many horrible costumes to choose from, but I'd have to go with the Jon & Kate's Kate wig. She's a reality star, a bitch, a horrible mother and all the news sites had a big article about her NEW HAIR STYLE on The View... A topical costume EPIC FAIL!!
Twilight
If you like this movie or these books, you need to go to the library, ask for the classics, go to the aisle and pick any book. Go home, read it. Then take a lighter or matches and do what's right after you've experienced real literature.
Prime Example: It's sad to say, but Twilight fits into any of the above categories, so it's Prime Example is all of it and how horrible this phenomenon is. It has invaded all aspects of the pop world.
The only time I will feel a twinge of sadness for the "Me Too!" driver is when his girlfriend for that week makes him put a "Team Edward" sticker on the passenger side window.
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