Stuff About Today: WTF Edition

-- Wolverine made 85 million dollars domestic this weekend, further proving that most of the population will buy into anything with a brand name. Remember to pick up your X-Men Origins: Wolverine novelty deodorant and garden tools on your way out of the theatre.

-- Wolverine made almost 160 million worldwide, and yes, I'm that disturbed by it. This is significant for two reasons. First, the fact that this movie doubled it's own earnings around the world is a pretty amazing thing when you consider the growing global access to Hollywood. Second, it means we still have an almost hypnotic power over the culture of the entire world, because they are clearly as stupid as we are.

-- Life, probably the best show nobody watched, was finally axed. This is sad, but not entirely; the show seemed to end in much the way a zen-cop show should: quietly. Go and watch the whole series, as it wraps up everything suspenseful by the finale, and satisfies like a good meal.

--Chuck, on the other hand, is still sweating it out. The now-infamous Five Dolla Footlong push definitely made itself some news, and the show is quite good at begging you to support sponsors without seeming like a total dick. This has to be an invaluable asset in TV right now, since you can't have a can of Coke in most shows without them looking like complete shills.

--Reportedly, after the credits in Wolverine there is a secret scene (in some releases) with a character from the movie addressing the audience. They probably should have thought about the potential franchising of characters before they derived most of their inspiration from early 90's videogames and horrible 60's monster movies, but what will be will be. None of this changes the fact that Star Trek is going to slap it in the mouth like a pimp dealin' with a bitch's attitude.

--I reiterate: Star Trek is going to pimp-slap Wolverine. I didn't honestly think I would cheer for this Star Trek, but it really needs to pull a Dark-Knight-to-Iron-Man and make that horrid piece of shit disappear. This time, though, it'll be for the good of mankind.

--Heroes is still on. That's good, right? Right?

--LOST is still ramping up to the season finale, although I am already ramped enough for my Aorta to pop at the next mention of Time Travel. GIVE ME MORE, ABRAMS.

--Turns out Swine Flu won't hide under your bed and do horrible things to you in the night after all (at least, not until the fall). Oh, by the way, while you weren't looking, Chrysler went bankrupt and most of the US banking industry admitted they have no real money. Happy Tuesday!