My Holiday Season

I am ridiculously excited for the upcoming months because of one word:

Blockbusters.

It begins in May and lasts until (generally) August. And it is a beautiful time to be a movie buff. Long gone are the Oscar contenders and the kids movies and the chick flicks and the sappy foreign bullshit films. Now, I'm not saying that I'm not a fan of all of the above (mostly) but there's something about a Summer Blockbuster that just makes you NEED to scrape those much-needed-elsewhere pennies up and sit in an over crowded theater for approximately 2 hours.

"Here Daddy... Go see Star Trek, I'll only need 3 years and half a semester of college anyway."
Driving to work today, I called a friend to happily exclaim that this time of year is my favorite holiday season. Yes, holiday. Because it is so full of surprises and gifts from people you know and love. And its about giving and receiving. I give the movie theater 12 of my dollars (plus more if I'm feeling cheeky and/or hungry for nasty treats) and (hopefully) I get a good movie in return.

I've learned in years past that much like Christmas and birthdays, that you cannot always expect that big package to be what you think/hope it to be. In fact, every parent has had the thought at one time or another to put socks in the super big box that looks like the Power Wheels box their child has been drooling over for months. Just because the wrapped package looks awesome, doesn't mean that there isn't a steaming pile of suck with it's colorful facade.

So this year you have the list already in your head:

Wolverine is going to be like that gift from your awesome aunt that always gets you the dumbest shit like a light-up globe or sea monkeys. If she's so awesome the rest of the year, why does she have to suck during the best opportunity to be awesome!?! Just like Wolverine. Comics Wolverine is awesome. Hugh Jackman, total bad ass and bankable movie star... How does this add up to absolute dookie in film!?!

Transformers 2 is that big gift you really really want, but after you get out of the package and play with it a little, you realize that it is potentially the most offensively bad marketing ever... or lack thereof.

Star Trek is from your older brother trying to make you like the stuff he does. It probably will work because your older brother is awesome.

Terminator is like that toy you want because it has a "name" on it. Think back to all those Batman toys that had Batman using awesome shit, but in a hot pink costume... A total WTF sort of thing, but it's a Batman toy, so you needed it

Harry Potter is the book in your stocking. From Grandma. Used. But gently.

Etc Etc Etc...

But even though I know there will be some real stinkers, I don't care! I'll go see them all (if my wife lets me) because last year we all learned not to keep your preconceptions. "Who wants to see Iron Man!?! Give me a A-list hero..." Everyone loved that movie!

"Man I can't wait to see Indy back on the big screen!" Most of us wish we had waited.

"The Dark Knight is gonna be so bad ass." Truer words have never been spoken.

So, in closing, Happy Summer Movies everyone! Go out and give them a chance because big movie companies need your money more than your mortgage lenders, credit card companies and family health and welfare.

Side Post: Eating Crow

As I've stated before that there is one man I trust above all others about all things movie, TV or literature. And he has spoken.

Apparently, Watchmen was awesome. So awesome, in fact, that he has seen it twice. The guy is a poor college student... and he's seen it twice. You know that I movie has to be worth a damn to take the movie over what could potentially snowball into his inability to buy a textbook or lunch or gas or another movie ticket... Like to see Wolverine or Star Trek.

He did acknowledge that the film had some minor changes and more punch-you-in-the-face violence, and for him to allow such a thing is HUGE. So now I need to see it. Soon. Like, now.

EDIT: He also commented on that the soundtrack wasn't that bad, except for the version of Hallelujah they have. If you've seen Shrek, then you know the song. Yeah, that one... One of the most beautiful songs in the world, and the version they chose for this film is the biggest piece of shit I've ever had to listen to 30 seconds of as an iTunes preview. Go ahead and check it out. Then go find the a cappella version on BOCA 2006. If you don't find that version absolutely incredible, you don't have a soul. If you like the version from the movie, stop reading my blogs because you ruin life with your shitty taste in music.

Anyways, I am a big man, and I know defeat when I see it. So, to Zack Snyder, I apologize. I should have kept the faith after 300...

W.

Today, Watchmen came out.

I did not rush out to see it because today was my son's original projected due date, so I accepted the fact that I would not see this movie its opening weekend a long time ago. That and I am relatively new to Watchmen. Only after I saw the original trailer was I handed the graphic novel and told to read it.

Before you go off on a shit-fit of "blah blah blah eleventh-hour fan blah blah blah loved it for years," to be completely honest, the trailer really made me want to read it less. I'm not sure if it was the trailer with a bunch of actors I had no idea who they were except for Russell from Stillwater and the "I'm always naked" girl from Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, Entourage and The Heartbreak Kid, or the rabid fan sitting front of me who freaked out through the ENTIRE FUCKING TRAILER!

I respect the shit out of the novel, I love it. I had a tough time getting through the first couple of pages, but once I sat down and digested it a little, when I picked it back up I was hooked. And I can see why it was called "unfilmable..." but I thought that was because any amount of Billy Crudup penis would be too much.


This on IMAX... No thank you!
But to go absolutely APE SHIT in a public place on the opening weekend for The Dark Knight was a bit for me to tolerate. I don't think I've ever freaked out like that in a public place... except for a time or two when I was absolutely hammered in college and "Ice Ice Baby" came on.


Approves
So, you can have your Watchmen movie, which has been horribly panned by everyone I've paid a slight bit of attention to. Those who say it's awesome, may or may not have said that Hulk, Doom and Episode 1 were all awesome... Just saying.

No, I am much more excited about X-Men Origins: Wolverine (or Wolberine if you so please) but I'm not freak out in a theater excited... The previous 3 X-Men films made sure never to be excited for an X-Men movie... ever. They were fun movies, but not even remotely what I would call "great movies" and they lack a very important aspect of movies for me and most of the people I consider friends: Re-watchability. And I have no doubt that this movie will continue that trend. Wolverine will be a bad ass, there will be a lot of "cameos" and a lot of shit will get tore up and/or blown up. I'll watch it once, possibly but the DVD for future viewing and quickly forget about it. But for now, look at this, and tell me it doesn't tickle your "f'ing awesome bone" a little...


It's like Chris Claremont sex for your eyes
Anywho, that's all. I hope we all can enjoy Watchmen and it gets the special treatment it deserves, but I'm not expecting much.